How Do I Make More Time for Myself?
"When I have time."
It's a phrase I hear all the time from the women I work with.
They'll exercise when they have time. Read that book when they have time. Meet a friend for coffee when they have time. Take care of themselves when they have time.
The problem is, for many women, that time never arrives.
There will always be work deadlines, school runs, washing to put away, meals to cook, ageing parents to support, appointments to attend and people who need something from us. Life doesn't pause while we wait for things to calm down.
One of my favourite books is The Time Is Now by John P. Strelecky. One of the key messages is that life isn't something that starts when we finally have more time, less stress, or fewer responsibilities.
Life is happening right now. There is no future, there is no past - it's the here and now.
The Myth of Finding Time
Many of us spend years trying to find time. But the truth is, we can't make more time. Every one of us gets the same 24 hours in a day. The difference lies in how we choose to spend them - you have a choice.
That doesn't mean we can suddenly create hours of free time out of nowhere. Many women, particularly those in the sandwich generation, are balancing careers, children, ageing parents and countless other responsibilities.
What it does mean is that we can become more intentional about where our time goes.
A Simple Technique: Time Blocking
One of the most effective tools I use personally is time blocking.
Rather than keeping a long list of things I'd like to do "when I get a chance", I block every activity in my diary that I plan to do. The key is to treat those blocks of time as appointments. You wouldn't cancel a dentist appointment because the washing needed doing. You wouldn't miss an important work meeting because somebody asked for a favour. If something matters, give it a place in your calendar.
Because we don't find time.
We choose how we spend it.
Other Ways to Make Better Use of Your Time
Time blocking is one strategy, but it's not the only one. Different approaches work for different people.
Use a To-Do List
For some people, a simple to-do list works brilliantly. Writing tasks down can help clear mental clutter and stop you carrying everything around in your head.
The key is to be realistic. A list with 25 tasks on it isn't motivating—it's overwhelming. Have a longer list of tasks you’d like to accomplish over the month and transfer the top 5 to a weekly list. Pay attention to those that stay on the list for weeks - what is making you put that task off?
Try identifying your top three priorities for the day and focus on those first.
Reward Yourself
We're often very good at moving straight from one task to the next without stopping to acknowledge what we've achieved.
Small rewards can help build momentum and motivation.
That might be:
A coffee after finishing a difficult task
Ten minutes with a book
A walk around the block
Watching an episode of your favourite programme
Progress deserves recognition.
Try the Pomodoro Technique
If you struggle to focus or find yourself constantly distracted, the Pomodoro Technique can be incredibly effective. Set a timer for 25 minutes and focus on one task only. When the timer goes off, take a five-minute break. Repeat the process four times and then take a longer break. I found this particularly good for my boys when they were studying for their GCSEs/A levels this year.
It's amazing how much can be achieved when we give something our full attention for a short period of time.
Be Curious About Procrastination
This is where coaching conversations often become interesting.
Many people tell themselves they haven't done something because they don't have time. Sometimes that's true. But more often than not, it's not true.
Sometimes the task makes us feel uncomfortable.
Perhaps we're worried we'll fail.
Perhaps we're afraid of being judged.
Perhaps the task feels overwhelming.
Perhaps deep down, we're not convinced we deserve to prioritise ourselves.
In those situations, "I don't have time" can become a socially acceptable way of avoiding something that feels difficult.
The question then becomes:
Is it really a time issue, or is something else getting in the way?
When we start to understand what's driving the procrastination, we can begin to address the real problem rather than simply trying to manage our time more effectively.
What Matters Most?
One thing I often explore with coaching clients is where their time is actually going and whether it's aligned with what matters most to them. So often, women are spending their time responding to everyone else's priorities while their own wellbeing, goals and needs are pushed further and further down the list.
The reality is that time management isn't always about finding more hours in the day.
Sometimes it's about making different choices.
Sometimes it's about setting boundaries.
Sometimes it's about asking for help.
And sometimes it's about giving yourself permission to matter too.
So I'll leave you with this question:
What's one thing you'd make time for this week if it was already blocked out in your diary?
If a conversation about how my one to one coaching programme could help you, get in contact.
