Why the Summer Holidays Aren't About Perfection – They're About Memories
If I asked your children in ten years' time what they remembered about the summer holidays, I can almost guarantee they won't tell you that the washing was always up to date, the house was spotless or every meal was perfectly planned. They'll remember the ice creams that melted before they'd even taken a bite. They'll remember paddling in the sea, staying up later than usual and laughing with the rest of the family. And they'll probably remember the things that went wrong too. Some of my favourite family memories are from when my children were younger and we spent our summer holidays camping. At the time, they didn't always feel like the dream holiday, especially the travel there. Given we’d be travelling somewhere in Europe.
There was the inevitable car sickness before we'd even properly got going. The time we got completely lost in the Alps and ended up on a road that was far too narrow for the car and trailer. The only option? Unhook the trailer in the middle of nowhere so we could turn around. I'm not sure either of us found it particularly funny at the time, but it's one of those stories we still laugh about years later. My daughter definitely didn’t find it funny as she screamed that we were going to roll down the mountain in our car!
But it also meant campfires, toasted marshmallows, bike rides, card games, adventures and time together. Those are the memories that have lasted.
Your children don't need a perfect summer.
They need you.
Not the version of you who's rushing around trying to make every day magical.
Not the version who's worrying about the washing or replying to work emails.
Just you.
Because here's something I see all the time...
Mums spend so much time making memories for everyone else that they forget to be part of them.
They become the organiser.
The snack carrier.
The sun cream applier.
The photographer.
The keeper of the timetable.
They're so busy making sure everyone else is having a lovely holiday that they don't actually get to enjoy it themselves.
Sound familiar?
Don't forget to pack yourself.
Yes, make memories with your family. But make sure you're making memories you enjoy too.
That doesn't mean disappearing for half a day or feeling guilty for wanting five minutes to yourself. It means giving yourself permission to recharge so you can actually be present.
Here are a few simple ideas...
Get up half an hour before everyone else.
If you're away by the coast, take a quiet stroll along the beach before the day begins.
If you're camping, enjoy a coffee outside while the campsite is still peaceful.
If you're at home, sit in the garden before everyone wakes up.
Those thirty minutes can completely change how the rest of the day feels.
Make use of the children's club.
If your holiday has one, use it.
Not because you don't want to spend time with your children.
Because you deserve a little time too.
Read your book.
Have a swim.
Sit with a coffee that's still hot.
Your children will probably have a brilliant time—and so will you.
Read ten pages.
Not a whole chapter.
Not an hour.
Just ten minutes while the children are happily playing.
Books have an amazing way of reminding us who we are beyond our daily responsibilities.
Share the jobs.
You don't have to be the only one making lunches, packing beach bags or remembering where everyone's flip-flops are. The holiday belongs to everyone and it’s great to involve the children in some of the jobs.
Put your phone away.
Take the photos then put it back in your bag. Some of the best memories happen when you're fully in the moment rather than trying to capture every second.
Let go of perfect.
If it rains...
If someone spills their drink...
If you end up eating fish and chips in the car because the restaurant was full...
Those often become the stories everyone talks about years later.
The memories that matter
Years from now, your children probably won't remember every activity you planned. But they'll remember how they felt. They'll remember laughing with you. They'll remember your silly dances. They'll remember the games you played or argued over. And yes... they might even remember that time Mum and Dad got hopelessly lost in the Alps and had to unhook the trailer in the middle of the road! The best memories rarely come from everything going to plan. They come from being together. So this summer, make the memories. But don't forget to make space for yourself within them too.
Because when you feel calmer, more rested and more present, everyone benefits—including you.
Want more practical tips like these?
Every month I share simple, realistic ideas to help women in the sandwich generation create more space for themselves, reduce the mental load and feel more like themselves again.
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